In my eyes, cheese is one of the great wonders of the world. I don’t know what I’d do with my life if cheese was never invented. I feel incredibly sorry for those who can’t eat the glorious stuff as a staple part of their diet. So when I heard that Rascals in Shoreditch holds a weekly cheese party, I simply HAD to get myself a ticket and gear up for possibly the cheesiest night of my life.
The cheese party, cheekily called Fromage a Trois, started back in February and offers a delightful evening filled to the brim with the cheesiest happenings and treats. It’s held at Rascals Restaurant which is next to Ballie Ballerson (still dying to try this place out and dive into the giant ball pit but hopefully that will happen sometime soon). The two places are joined by a secret door in the middle so if you were feeling wild you could even venture to both places in one night!
I really wasn’t overly sure what to expect when I arrived at Rascals last Wednesday, I had purposely not read about the event as I wanted to be surprised and taken on a journey of cheesy goodness. As we arrived we were seated on a long table – dinner party style. My two pals sat on one side and I sat on the other, at first this was a bit awkward sitting between two randomers but as the night went on it turned out to be fine!
We were all poured a glass of wine, I opted for white after much deliberation. One glass is included with your ticket but we ended up buying another bottle for a little later in the evening (it starts at 6:30/7 and goes on until around 10pm).
The first cheese of the night came in the form of a rather large cheese board made up of lots of cheese varieties including Brie, goats cheese, blue cheese, cheddar and many more as well as chutney, figs and crackers. This stuff was insanely good, everyone was being polite to start with and taking measly amounts of everything and returning to their places before finishing their plates and heading back for round 2.
We were then introduced to our host for the evening, the fantasticly hilarious Mary Camemberry, who introduced us to the main concept for the evening’s activities, The World Cheese Pulling Championships! She divided the table into two teams (directly down the middle! Bye friends it was nice knowing you) and our first task was to come up with a team name. This was done by everyone putting our choice of cheese-based name in a hat and the Mary Camembert having the final decision… from that point on team A was ‘The Squirty Cheeses’ and Team B became ‘The Fondue-dabby-Dozies’ – my team.
We were then asked to go wash our hands and put on a sexy plastic apron because we were going to be making our starter dishes, we did as we were told and made our way back to our seats to find out exactly what Mary had in store for us. Her explanation and instructions were hilarious (and very crude, obviously) and she told us that we had until the end of the next song (a very cheesy playlist accompanies the whole evening) to stretch our Mozzarella to the longest length that we possibly could. And with that we all got to work. It was crazy how the abilities of the group varied, I think I managed an average length so I was more than happy with my effort. She then sprung on us that we then had another song to turn our lengths of mozzarella into beautiful creations and that she’d pick her favourite from each side to come to the front and pitch their starter against each other to win the point for their team. We then got to devour our works of art and life was great.
Next up was the main course. We were presented with some sausages and greens (risotto for veggies), but the real star of the show here was the cheesiest mash (I think it was mash) that I’d ever had the pleasure of seeing. One of the members of staff came armed with a whisk to show us just how incredibly stringy, stretchy and sexy this mash truly was before adding some to each of our plates. Everything was amaaaaazing and I tried to stuff as much in my face as possible but it was a big struggle to finish.
Then it was our turn, competition style. As pairs we took it in turn to see who Could stretch the excess mash potato that sat in buckets at the top of the table. It was definitely an advantage if you were taller and either my team’s bucket had stretchier cheese in it or the other team were absolutely rubbish. I guess we’ll never know. This took quite a long time for everyone at the table to have a go but in the end the right team won…mine
The final task of the night was cheese bowling. In which we each had a go at knocking down all of the pins using a giant babybel, this was so much fun and I even managed to knock a few down, however one of my friends managed to score a strike so my achievement was very short-lived. If you managed to score a strike you were given a scratch card and the opportunity to win drinks for the evening, these include things such as shots and espresso martinis.
Sadly it was then the end of the event and we had to roll our extremely stuffed selves home after we stole a selfie with Mary Camemberry herself.
I would definitely recommend this event for all my fellow cheese lovers out there. You’re in for a great time and have the chance to meet some lovely people (depending who also gets a ticket). Mary Camemberry really adds a huge amount to this event so make sure you befriend her and arrive with as many cheese puns as your brain can handle!
I’ll be returning to Rascals next month to try out their boozy brunch which includes unlimited espresso martinis so watch this space!